South of the Border- Monday, July 18, 2011

Today was mostly driving. We said goodbye to Julie’s folks, who were leaving the house right after us, but taking a different route home. We made it as far as our planned stop at South of the Border, South Carolina. We counted down the miles here watching for the signs from “Pedro” that stand along I-95 throughout the Carolinas. According to “Pedro’s” own figures, we are 489 miles from Orlando, but still 750 miles from Buffalo.

If you took all of the kitchiness on Clifton Hill, Niagara Falls, mixed it in with the discount shops along 192 outside of Disney World, boiled them down to their tacky essence and plopped it in the middle of nowhere, you have South of the Border. It starts with those signs, mentioned before, with their strangely outdated racism. No one would miss South of the Border anyway, because of the sombrero on top of the tower right by the Interstate. At our hotel, the mother and father of all lawn flamingos stand guard outside, and they are just the beginning. A veritable zoo of life-sized and way-larger-than-life-sized animals stands around the shops, sporting every color of the rainbow. There are several shops selling every trinket, knick-knack, cheap Made-in-China toys that you can imagine, especially if they are gaudily emblazoned with “South of the Border.” (Surprisingly, Scott spent the most here when he found hats he can use with his students for a price much lower than he’s found other places.) We ate at the Sombrero Restaurant, and there are several others nearby, hoping travellers stop for a moment. Then we came back to our bright yellow room at the S.O.B. motel to let the girls change to go swimming. (Yes, the people here do abbreviate it S.O.B., in spite of what it can also mean. It’s on many things like that, even the bright yellow water tower.) It must be over 100 degrees by the pool under the greenhouse-like “Pleasure Dome.” Luckily, there’s an outdoor pool too.

We knew what we were getting into, but we had to do it once. Writer Neil Gaiman would suggest that South of the Border is a place of great magic which draws Americans to here. At this point for us, it just a reminder of the kitch and consumerism we’ve seen so much of this trip. We’re ready to go home.